Awkward moments make the world go ’round

One of the most important things you can learn in life is how to laugh at yourself.

I’m extremely good at accidentally creating awkward moments. Seriously, if I could get paid for it somehow, I would drop out of journalism and become a millionaire.

Until then, I’ll just entertain you with a few stories of conversations gone wrong. Thankfully, most people are good sports.

  1. My dad and I went on a trip to BC and rented a “medium-sized car”–that was the category he checked off on the Enterprise form. We got to the Abbotsford airport and were given the keys to our brand new, shiny…. KIA Sol. This car was the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s a box on wheels. I ducked my head down while riding shotgun because I was afraid to be seen in it. No offense, KIA, but I like my cars sleek and smooth. I couldn’t believe we got stuck with a box car.

I went to one of my dad’s important work meetings and was talking to some of the workers there about how we flew in from Ontario and rented a car to get around over here. One asked me, “Is that your KIA Sol in the parking lot?”

“Yes! It’s so ugly – I can’t believe it!” I said, excited that I could finally rant about how horrible this car was.

There was a pause and then he said, “Mine’s the green one.”

  1. When you work in retail, the golden rule is to say hi and acknowledge every customer that comes into the store. I’m extremely friendly and I tend to get overly excited when people come into the store.

On my first day of working in a department store, a girl walked in and was rushing by me but I made sure to yell, just in time, “Hey! How’s it going?”

She looked at me and said, without hesitation, “I work here.”

  1. Also at work, I was diligently doing my job when a customer came up and asked me the time.

“It’s 1:30,” I answered. He said thank you, and then my tiny little brain got confused and couldn’t decide whether to say you’re welcome or no problem, so I cheerfully yelled after him, “Your problem!”

I got a bit of a weird look, as usual.

  1. I was walking home at around 9 p.m. so it was pretty dark. I see a cute little old lady standing at a corner, surrounded by more duffel bags than she could ever carry. She reminded me of my grandmother: short with white fluffy hair and big, round glasses. She looked pretty lost.

I decided I would do my good deed of the day and see if I could help her get to where she needed to go. I started walking up to her and asked, “Do you need any help?”

Suddenly, it was like demons around the world were being released. This loud, piercing scream just erupted from her mouth and the “cute old lady” shrieked  at me, “GO TO HELL!” and my heart started pounding and I started walking away briskly with her screaming after me. I imagine that was what an exorcism must sound like.

I admit, this isn’t a funny story. It was actually pretty traumatizing. But I do hope she made it to wherever she wanted to go.

So, here’s the Erin Lesson of the Day (patent pending): Learn to laugh at yourself. Everyone has socially awkward moments and when you sit back and think about it, being awkward is hilarious. Don’t be too serious!

DISCLAIMER: I have definitely had more than 4 awkward moments throughout my lifetime. Maybe you can look forward to another one of these posts in the future. EXCEPT BIGGER. BETTER. AWKWARDER.

Have a great day!

I said I wanted a puppy, a mysterious puppy appeared

One of the best feelings in the world is when a baby smiles at you. I see babies and kids all the time in Toronto, usually being carried by one of their parents, and I always smile at them. 90% of the time, their cute little mouths form a tiny smile back and my heart just melts. I was at the bank this morning and two little girls that were in line beside me excitedly showed me a cool bracelet they made. I love children!

I was talking to some friends of mine over coffee about how I think my maternal instincts are kicking in – which is ridiculous, I’m only 20! I came to the conclusion that maybe I should just get a puppy instead.

I looked up from my coffee and all of the sudden, a small puppy appeared out of nowhere! Standing right beside me was a tiny cream-coloured fluffy dog, staring at me with its big brown eyes. Had God just given me a puppy? Was this a miracle?

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The dog looked pretty scruffy like it had been homeless for a while, but it was odd because I’m around this coffee shop all the time and I had never seen it before. It had no collar. Its fur was a little bit mangled and its paws were black from the dirt. I figured it must be hungry.

I took out my sandwich and tore off little pieces for the dog. I threw the first piece to it, then the second one a little bit closer to me, the third one even closer and the dog gently took the fourth piece out of my hand. I am a dog whisperer, a master animal tamer.

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All of a sudden, an old man comes out of the coffee shop and screams, “SUKI!” (Spelling may be incorrect.) He glares at me. “Did you feed her?! She doesn’t eat human food! She never eats human food!”

He calls the dog so it stands beside his feet. “She always waits for me right here and she knows she isn’t supposed to eat human food! She never goes close to strangers – I don’t know why she went up to you!” Little does he know, I am the master animal tamer, as we previously established.

I apologized and Suki and the man walked away and sat down at the farthest table from where I was sitting.

THE TAKEAWAY: Dog owners, take better care of your dogs so I don’t mistake them for homeless dogs and feed them “human food.”